When Aʹbram was 99 years old, Jehovah appeared to Aʹbram and said to him: “I am God Almighty. Walk before me and prove yourself faultless.
Well as is expected, Abram is found faultless by Jehovah and so Jehovah seals his covenant with Abram (again, and again as was discovered last week) by changing his name from Abram to Abraham. I should also point out that in this story not only does Abram change his name to Abraham, but Sarai gets to change her name to Sarah too. The rest of this chapter focuses on the covenant, and what will needed to be done to assure the covenant.
As a refresher we again learn what the covenant is,
And I will give to you and to your offspring after you the land in which you lived as a foreigner—the entire land of Caʹnaan—for a lasting possession, and I will be their God.”
This is rather interesting, as why did the Israelite's have to get enslaved in Egypt if Jehovah had already promised the entire land of Canaan. The only sensible answer is that the god referred to in the Bible is actually as pathetic as us atheists think, i.e. he cannot even make true on simple promises.
So what would a person have to do to get Jehovah's blessing? Turns out the answer is simple, its a simple as cutting a part of your penis off actually.
Every male among you must get circumcised. You must circumcise the flesh of your foreskins, and it will serve as a sign of the covenant between me and you.
I guess Jehovah has a penis fascination. But, not only this, we get to learn a whole lot more about this circumcision covenant.
Now the one thing Christians like to flaunt is that circumcision should be 8 days after birth, after all this is what the Bible says.
Throughout your generations, every male among you eight days old must be circumcised
Problem is that this is not true, as can be found by doing a simple Google search where we can find that in fact the shorter the time after birth (1 to 3 days) the better for circumcision.
(A circumcision knife: Source)
Interestingly, the covenant is not only to be with the Israelite's as it can be with anyone who has been circumcised specifically those slaves that Abraham or other Jews may own. This is great, as it shows another contradiction in the Bible as we learn that the Israelite's are the chosen race, but here Jehovah is allowing pretty much anyone to be the chosen race.
Every man born in your house and every man purchased with your money must be circumcised, and my covenant in your flesh must serve as a lasting covenant.
However, beware those that do not get circumcised. These people will get cast aside by Jehovah, which once again is showing Jehovah's love for the penis I can only gather. Amazingly, Jehovah decides on this self mutilating covenant and then gets angry when someone will not adhere. Perhaps this is why Abraham fits so well with Jehovah, as they both truly are weird in many ways.
If any uncircumcised male will not circumcise the flesh of his foreskin, that person must be cut off from his people. He has broken my covenant.”
I guess if you are not cut, you get cut.
Part of gods covenant is that he tells Abraham that Sarah will become pregnant. Naturally at this Abraham laughs, as after all this goes counter to what we know about modern biology. Then again, the fact that people were living to old ages of over a hundred during a time of zero medical treatments is remarkable in itself.
Will a man 100 years old have a child born to him, and will Sarah, a woman 90 years old, give birth?”
But never mind, I mean god can do anything right?
Now the son Jehovah promises is to be named Isaac, and god promises that Isaac will be the father of a nation. This begs the question, what to do about Ishmael? Well, Ishmael as we know will be highly despised, however Jehovah will make Ishmael a great nation as well. That Ishmael will be despised is rather weird, as Ishmael also gets circumcised so why would he not be part of Gods covenant?
21: However, I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you at this appointed time next year.
23: Abraham then took Ishʹma·el his son and all the men born in his house and everyone he had purchased with money, every male in the household of Abraham, and he circumcised the flesh of their foreskins on that very day, just as God had spoken with him.
I guess Jehovah makes covenants and breaks them without thinking ahead to much about what these covenants mean. Poor Ishmael we can only gather that his penis was not up to Jehovah's standards. I mean why else would you not want to keep someone in the fold that was in the fold through the mutilation required.
Another week, another bunch of contradictions.
All verses come from the New World Translation Of The Holy Scriptures.
Online version available at the Jehovah's Witnesses official website