Friday 7 November 2014

7 Things I learnt from Left Behind


1) There is a cut off age for kids to be an innocent, not sure what the age is but its there. So, as a concerned Christian parent it may be better just to off your kids before that age?

2) God does not care if someones cognition is gone and they cannot accept god as there Saviour. You are going to burn! Perhaps, this is a sick little joke by god for all the people that are not really wanted in heaven.

3) You are going to be butt ass naked in Heaven. Little bit of exhibitionism never hurt anyone....well except maybe if you are not to keen on seeing mum in her full glory it will.

4) If you were born into a family that had another faith, you are not getting raptured and its all your fault.

5) There is going to be a lot of unguided fast moving metal objects around. Should we be using this as evidence that Christians should not be allowed to drive or pilot anything, ever, for our safety.

6) If you are rich the chances of getting raptured are a lot higher than if you are middle or low income. Not sure why, after all this kind of goes against the whole Camel threading through the needles eye thing.

7) Lastly, Nicholas Cage is still not a great actor.

It has been a great year for Christian movies and my reviews of them he says modestly (Noah, God is not dead, Heaven is real), but the big one is still coming. Christian Bale aka Batman as that other superhero Moses, can't wait for December.