Wednesday, 2 October 2013

I am Pope and I will make shit up as I go along

This story from the BBC which details that Pope John Paul II and his predecessor Pope John XXIII will be made saints next year on the 27th April did not surprise me. Lets be serious all these popes are the tongue of God on earth so they better become saints. Yes even Pope overlord Benedict XVI, who I have now heard retired to take up a role in the remake of the Star Wars movies where he will fill the role of the emperor Palpantine.....OK I made that up.

Anyway for those of us not up to date on our sainthood rules, one very essential thing is that 2 miracles must be attributed to the person to be sainted. This is obviously very difficult in this day and age as for example miracles like trees weeping the tears of God get proven easily to be aphid poop. So lets see what miracles these popes did to deserve their sainthood.

Pope John Paul II has been attributed the following two miracles. 1) The curing of a 49-year-old French nun, who had Parkinson's disease. I am sure she was not taking any drugs etc. and the evidence of her disease never mind her cure is all from church sources. Interestingly, some other doctors are saying different things, like she never had Parkinson's in the first place. 2) The second miracle attributed to the Pope is a Costa Rican woman who made an "inexplicable recovery" from a serious brain illness. Again the details are pretty sketchy at best and her doctor is a catholic in a catholic nation so I am sure they are not been misled by an artifact/error in an X-ray or anything silly like that.

Oh as for Pope John XXIII he only has one miracle attributed to him, the current Pope Francis decided he didn't need a second miracle. See what I said in the beginning is true, you just have to be pope to become a saint.

What amazes me however is how the catholic church continues to get away even bending their own rules never mind the rules of country's they exploit and not lose every follower. When I was a theist my branch of Christianity used to say the Vatican was the seat of evil, I guess they were right about something.